‘Taking the time to sit with your feelings to acknowledge them, will save you much distress down the road’

I know this to be true as I suppressed my emotions for decades until it got to the point I could no longer cope. Until I tried to take my own life. I tried ignoring my emotions, running away, suppressing & numbing.

My coping techniques included;

Control -Over exercising & under eating
Distraction– way too much tech & scrolling
Charging up on caffeine & sugar
Numbing or blacking out with alcohol
Avoidance– overworking & always ‘being busy’

 

Of course it’s only in hindsight I can see that these behaviours were feeding my mental illness & harming my body. I felt terrible, desperate & in despair. 

I had no idea how to feel better. I felt trapped in a loop of feeling low, self soothing (with a toxic habit) which then feed the low feelings & round I went again.

It can take great courage to really sit with our feelings, allowing ourselves to surrender to their powerful energies. All too often we set our feelings aside, thinking we will deal with them later. If we don’t deal with them, we end up storing them in our minds and bodies and this is when anxiety and other health issues can arise. Denying what our bodies want to feel can lead to trouble now or down the line, which is why being in the thick of our feelings, no matter how scary it seems, is really the best thing we can do for ourselves. 

 

Eventually it got so bad that I felt I had no way out other than to end things. I tried to take my own life to escape from the pain & suffering & to end the feeling that everyone would be better off without me.

Now I know, when we simply allow ourselves to fully feel our feelings as they come, we tend to let them go easily. This is all we are required to do; our feelings simply want to be felt.

We often complicate the situation by applying mental energy in the form of analysis, when all we really need is to allow, as the earth allows the rain to fall upon it. As the rain falls, the earth responds in a multitude of ways, sometimes emptying out to form a great canyon, sometimes soaking it up to nourish an infinitude of plants.

 

In the same way, the deeper purpose of our feelings is to transform the terrain of our inner world, sometimes creating space for more feelings to flow, sometimes providing sustenance for growth.

 

All we need to do is allow the process by relaxing, opening, and receiving the bounty of our emotions

 

I truly believe that I was saved that night when I tried to leave this world so that I could be a messenger & living proof that we can get through hard things. As I have began to open up about my mental health journey, I truly hope it offers some faith to those struggling that there is a way to overcome the struggles in a transformational way.

I have found healthy ways to process my emotions. I have formed healthy habits to support a mentally & physically well life. I feel in a state of balance & allow myself to feel the full range of emotions that we are meant to know as part of the human experience.

I feel it is my mission to help others that are feeling alone, unable to cope & at a loss.