Mental illness – the silent killer. My survival story

‘Taking the time to sit with your feelings to acknowledge them, will save you much distress down the road’

I know this to be true as I suppressed my emotions for decades until it got to the point I could no longer cope. Until I tried to take my own life. I tried ignoring my emotions, running away, suppressing & numbing.

My coping techniques included;

Control -Over exercising & under eating
Distraction– way too much tech & scrolling
Charging up on caffeine & sugar
Numbing or blacking out with alcohol
Avoidance– overworking & always ‘being busy’


Of course it’s only in hindsight I can see that these behaviours were feeding my mental illness & harming my body. I felt terrible, desperate & in despair. 

I had no idea how to feel better. I felt trapped in a loop of feeling low, self soothing (with a toxic habit) which then feed the low feelings & round I went again.

It can take great courage to really sit with our feelings, allowing ourselves to surrender to their powerful energies. All too often we set our feelings aside, thinking we will deal with them later. If we don’t deal with them, we end up storing them in our minds and bodies and this is when anxiety and other health issues can arise. Denying what our bodies want to feel can lead to trouble now or down the line, which is why being in the thick of our feelings, no matter how scary it seems, is really the best thing we can do for ourselves. 


Eventually it got so bad that I felt I had no way out other than to end things. I tried to take my own life to escape from the pain & suffering & to end the feeling that everyone would be better off without me.

One of the reasons we tend to hide or push aside our feelings is that we live in a culture that has not traditionally supported emotional awareness. However, as the connection between mind and body – our emotions and our physical health – becomes clearer, awareness of the importance of feeling our feelings has grown.
There are many books, classes, workshops and retreats that can help us on our way to emotional intelligence. We can also trust in our own ability to process what comes up when it comes up. If sadness arises, we can notice its presence and welcome it, noting where in our bodies we feel it, and allowing ourselves to express it through tears or a quiet turning inward. 
I was too scared to share my feelings & thoughts with anyone. I felt like a burden. That I didn’t deserve to feel this way as there were people far off worse than me. What right did I have to feel like I had problems when there are starving people in the world?

Now I know, when we simply allow ourselves to fully feel our feelings as they come, we tend to let them go easily. This is all we are required to do; our feelings simply want to be felt.

We often complicate the situation by applying mental energy in the form of analysis, when all we really need is to allow, as the earth allows the rain to fall upon it. As the rain falls, the earth responds in a multitude of ways, sometimes emptying out to form a great canyon, sometimes soaking it up to nourish an infinitude of plants.


In the same way, the deeper purpose of our feelings is to transform the terrain of our inner world, sometimes creating space for more feelings to flow, sometimes providing sustenance for growth.


All we need to do is allow the process by relaxing, opening, and receiving the bounty of our emotions


I truly believe that I was saved that night when I tried to leave this world so that I could be a messenger & living proof that we can get through hard things. As I have began to open up about my mental health journey, I truly hope it offers some faith to those struggling that there is a way to overcome the struggles in a transformational way.

I have found healthy ways to process my emotions. I have formed healthy habits to support a mentally & physically well life. I feel in a state of balance & allow myself to feel the full range of emotions that we are meant to know as part of the human experience.

I feel it is my mission to help others that are feeling alone, unable to cope & at a loss.

As the mental illness pandemic continues to worsen, please share the love & share this with a loved one that needs some help & support. I am sharing the impactful & powerful tools I use & teach women to manage anxiety & overwhelm get out of a never ending loop of worry & choose to feel calm & happy again.
Love & Kindness, 
Our Anxious to Aligned free workshops start Monday 27/09/21. Please share with those you love that you know are struggling & with those that also seem fine & may be silently suffering.

The impactful & powerful ways to manage mental health.

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